Highlights include the boat trip to Totnes, a meal at the Michelin star restaurant “The New Angel” (all 11 insanely delicious courses of it), and a lot of beer (for me) and wine (for Abby) in a lot of lovely pubs.

Go there, it’s fab. That there white house in the picture is where Agatha Christie lived! I know!

Then I did my usual thing of waiting ages between taking the pics and getting them processed. Bored of waiting I went into the local snappy snaps style place and asked if they could process 120 film, and was assured they could.

Quite why, in that case, all the photos came out with strange lines and artefacts on them I have no idea – but I probably won’t use that particular place again…

Basically I arrived, worked, then flew back, so you can imagine I had a wide and varied experience which involved seeing almost entirely the inside of hotels and absolutely nothing else.

From my previous post you’ll have seen that I might have had a moment or two to spend in a jacuzzi overlooking Dubai creek, which I suppose was alright, if you like that kind of thing. Which I do!

Since all I saw was the hotel, I’ll tell you about the room. It was a five star hotel so the room was nicely appointed and the bed was comfortable beyond belief! One odd thing though – the bathroom and bedroom were separated by a glass window.

Now I don’t know about you but I don’t want my wife to watch me having a poo – and I most certainly don’t want to watch her – I’m sure that’s a thing some people enjoy but as Alan Partridge would say, “They’re sex people Lynne!”

Moving on, when at the hotel I mostly saw it during the hours of darkness as I was working during the day. It looked better at night including the view in the distance of the ludicrous Burj Dubai, by a long way the tallest building in the world. Visible below, it’s the lit up tower to the left of the image in the distance

Finally because I apparently go away on work and always take a photo of a big wheel, here is a photo of a big wheel.

Any questions on Dubai? Ask me, obviously I’m an expert.

Having said that, there are a few benefits…

All I need to do now is pray that the ash cloud doesn’t stop me from flying home!

More on Dubai when I’m home.

I took a few photos when I was there, not least a couple of enourmous panoramic ones which I’ll share at a later date. Until then, please do enjoy these, and if you don’t enjoy them, then you are a stinker, plain and simple.

This here below is the 3 train, I know this because I am some sort of expert on all things New York because I don’t know if you know this but I’ve been there you see.

This is something called a “Yellow Taxi”, there are a lot of these in New York which you would know if you had been – I’ve been, this is how I know these things.

This is a “School Bus” which if you went to America like what I did, you might see, because in America school buses are yellow.

More valuable, exciting and interesting lessons in the American and New York city way of life coming soon. I bet you can’t wait.

Then he got lost and Mrs TransporTed when looking for him – so I took her to New York so she could have a look around – she didn’t find him though.

She’s off Scuba diving next, I wish I had her life! Anyway if none of this makes sense, go and Visit TransporTed’s website to find out more.

My sister got married in central park, it was flipping amazing, you honestly couldn’t imagine a nicer location for a wedding. I’m sure it helped that the weather was nice. The previous day was the hottest day on record for this time of year!

My wife and I had already been to New York once before so we took the opportunity to relive some things and experience some new things – it was very relaxed with the only problem being I ate far too much red meat and drank far too much Brooklyn Lager (yum).

At least we beat the volcano and got home safely! More New York posts will follow over the next few days…

And I said to him, I say old chap, polygamy is not only illegal but also morally reprehensible! More to the point how on earth does a fellow deal with seven wives, one is surely enough? And why have you got so many cats?

Right so anyway as I mentioned before I’ve just moved house and this very morning I finished laying a new slate floor in our kitchen which has turned out right nice if I do say so myself.

Our boiler broke down less than a week after moving in so I decided on a particularly cold night I’d light a fire in the living room. I broke up some kindling and collected some logs from the log shed and set about making fire, the third manliest thing there is to do after using a chainsaw, or an angle grinder.

I arranged the kindling over some bundled up paper and put a match to it, hey presto, fire! Oh wait, why is all the smoke coming into the room – better check the chimney, oh, what’s this massive bit of foam blocking the chimney?

Cue me stamping all over the fire to put it out before smoking out the entire building. What a plonker.

Quite literally every room in the house needs some work of a lesser or greater amount, so I’ve become DIY man for the next few months. Naturally in light of all this DIY work and money that needs to be spent I went out this weekend and bought new gadgets. Why wouldn’t I?

For anyone that cares this is a Cambridge Audio Topaz amplifier, along with an iPod dock and some Q Acoustics 1020i speakers. I also have a Cambridge Audio Azur DAB tuner and a Technics SL1200 running through a NAD PP2 Phono Preamplifier. Christ that was exciting to write, I need to go for a lie down.

I actually am going to St. Ives later this year as well! Crazy times.

I have no internet at home, and at the moment am in the middle of 75 massive DIY projects, so don’t expect to have any free time at all over the next few weeks. So apologies in advance for the lack of updates!

Anyone want to come and lay the slate floor in my kitchen for me? I can’t be bothered but it needs to be done by Friday morning.

Anyway here are some pictures I took a few weeks ago when I went to Brean Down. What I did was, I went to Brean down, with a camera, and I pointed it at things and took pictures. Crazy times.

Christmas day rolled along and I thought I’d document it using film like some sort of artistic genius – a couple of weeks later I pop to the local film processing place and ask them to develop it. “What type of film is that” asks the man. Um….. “It must be C-41″ says I thinking at the same time “how could I possibly be wrong?”

Wrong I was – the processed film looks like this:

Believe it or not, although it looks blank there is actually something on these negatives. Trouble is you can’t pick it up with a scanner without it looking like a real mess – witness:

These look like something taken in 1820 with the first ever camera – and are rubbish. So now I’m left with 9 more rolls of this stuff and no bleeding idea what to do with it. Suddenly I find myself contemplating buying a home development kit and setting up a dark room…