Right?

WRONG!!!

The actual manliest thing it is possible to do is to chop up wood with a chainsaw, whilst sporting a super manly amazing moustache. All men with moustaches are automatically superior and more handsome and manlier than all men who do not have moustaches. These facts are indisputable. So I find that I must partcipate….

 
I will document my progress as I and my intrepid chums from work go forth into the world of lip hair awesomeness. If you wish to support my moustache growing efforts financially, you should do so by giving money over here and by doing so you will be supporting not only some very worthy men’s health charities to do with things like cancer and that, but also you’ll be showing that you support moustaches.. And that matters.

If you don’t donate, think about what you are saying to the world? You’re saying that you like cancer – you’re actually supporting cancer, rather than supporting research into the fight against cancer. But oh so much worse than that – you’re saying that moustaches don’t look good. Is that the message you want to send to the world? Is it?

I didn’t think so.

OMG!11!1 He iz so small! HIS SKIN DOESN’T EVEN FIT HIM!!!11!1

That was several years ago – he doesn’t look like that any more….

There is a strong possibility more photos will follow…..

You can’t have them. They’re mine.

Dear Amazonz,

I have personally sat on many books without materially altering my subsequent reading experience, so you can imagine my shock and distress when my Amazon Kindle broke the very first time I sat on it.

I have watched your recent television campaign where you state that “the book lives”. It is quite plain for anyone to see that this is quite simply not the case. The book is dead. I find myself now clutching a primitive paper based entertainment item known also as a “book”, which frankly makes me feel like some sort of cave man.

What’s worse is that the death of the kindle occurred on the first day of my holiday leaving me with nothing to read for six whole days. I almost died of boredom. I feel that Amazon is at least partly to blame for this.

Please assist at your earliest convenience.

Yours, Kindle-lessly.

Ben Dobson

We’ll see what happens next.

I want whatever it is that is on that plate. I don’t care what it is, I want it.

I want that lolly.

Mmmmmmmmm lolly.

“Is that chair looking at me? I think it is? That chair better not be looking at me. I’ll bite that chair, then it will learn not to look at me.”

Is that pigeon looking at me? I think it is. It better not be, or I’ll bloody eat it. Yummy pigeon. Come here pigeon….”

“Is Goran Ivanisevic looking at me? He better not be. I’ll eat his tennis bat if he’s looking at me. Yummy tennis bat.”

As you can see Wilf knows his own mind.

Wrong! I just can’t be bothered.

That was a lie – the real reason is that I’m so busy doing important things that I haven’t found the time – so there you go. I have been doing loads of stuff at home though so there will very soon be a deluge of changing rooms grand designs style posts where I show photos of things in and outside my house.

For now, here is a photo from Wells where I went a while back – wooo! Wells!

By the way when I said “busy doing important things” just now, I meant watching telly and reading books and stuff like that. Important stuff.

Catch you later homies.

Then he got lost and Mrs TransporTed when looking for him – so I took her to New York so she could have a look around – she didn’t find him though.

She’s off Scuba diving next, I wish I had her life! Anyway if none of this makes sense, go and Visit TransporTed’s website to find out more.

And I said to him, I say old chap, polygamy is not only illegal but also morally reprehensible! More to the point how on earth does a fellow deal with seven wives, one is surely enough? And why have you got so many cats?

Right so anyway as I mentioned before I’ve just moved house and this very morning I finished laying a new slate floor in our kitchen which has turned out right nice if I do say so myself.

Our boiler broke down less than a week after moving in so I decided on a particularly cold night I’d light a fire in the living room. I broke up some kindling and collected some logs from the log shed and set about making fire, the third manliest thing there is to do after using a chainsaw, or an angle grinder.

I arranged the kindling over some bundled up paper and put a match to it, hey presto, fire! Oh wait, why is all the smoke coming into the room – better check the chimney, oh, what’s this massive bit of foam blocking the chimney?

Cue me stamping all over the fire to put it out before smoking out the entire building. What a plonker.

Quite literally every room in the house needs some work of a lesser or greater amount, so I’ve become DIY man for the next few months. Naturally in light of all this DIY work and money that needs to be spent I went out this weekend and bought new gadgets. Why wouldn’t I?

For anyone that cares this is a Cambridge Audio Topaz amplifier, along with an iPod dock and some Q Acoustics 1020i speakers. I also have a Cambridge Audio Azur DAB tuner and a Technics SL1200 running through a NAD PP2 Phono Preamplifier. Christ that was exciting to write, I need to go for a lie down.

I actually am going to St. Ives later this year as well! Crazy times.