Once upon a time in the distant past I took a photo of TransporTed and it was good.

Then he got lost and Mrs TransporTed when looking for him – so I took her to New York so she could have a look around – she didn’t find him though.

She’s off Scuba diving next, I wish I had her life! Anyway if none of this makes sense, go and Visit TransporTed’s website to find out more.

      As I was going to St Ives
      I met a man with seven wives

And I said to him, I say old chap, polygamy is not only illegal but also morally reprehensible! More to the point how on earth does a fellow deal with seven wives, one is surely enough? And why have you got so many cats?

Right so anyway as I mentioned before I’ve just moved house and this very morning I finished laying a new slate floor in our kitchen which has turned out right nice if I do say so myself.

Our boiler broke down less than a week after moving in so I decided on a particularly cold night I’d light a fire in the living room. I broke up some kindling and collected some logs from the log shed and set about making fire, the third manliest thing there is to do after using a chainsaw, or an angle grinder.

I arranged the kindling over some bundled up paper and put a match to it, hey presto, fire! Oh wait, why is all the smoke coming into the room – better check the chimney, oh, what’s this massive bit of foam blocking the chimney?

Cue me stamping all over the fire to put it out before smoking out the entire building. What a plonker.

Quite literally every room in the house needs some work of a lesser or greater amount, so I’ve become DIY man for the next few months. Naturally in light of all this DIY work and money that needs to be spent I went out this weekend and bought new gadgets. Why wouldn’t I?

For anyone that cares this is a Cambridge Audio Topaz amplifier, along with an iPod dock and some Q Acoustics 1020i speakers. I also have a Cambridge Audio Azur DAB tuner and a Technics SL1200 running through a NAD PP2 Phono Preamplifier. Christ that was exciting to write, I need to go for a lie down.

I actually am going to St. Ives later this year as well! Crazy times.

In Kenya, Oranges are not orange – they are green!

It really is a crazy world we live in.

They are orange inside though – it was a relief when I found that out.

A couple of weeks ago my good friend Ross married his girlfriend Jess, I had the honour of providing best man duties both leading up to and on the day. Just setting the scene here…

Over here you’ll see a post I wrote a couple of years ago with photos of our wedding rings – and over here you’ll see a post I wrote complaining about how many people keep stealing that photograph. So that’s the scene set then – I took a photo and it gets nicked a lot. Quite simple really. Oh, and there is a wedding as well.

When we sat down for dinner, I was slightly surprised to see that the wedding favours, which were chocolate bars, had a familiar looking photo on them… To prove to myself I wasn’t losing my mind I even checked my website on my phone and confirmed it was indeed a familiar photograph.

I just assumed Ross had used the photo off my website, but apparently not – the company that makes these choccies has only bleeding well nicked the photo of me, and can be added to the long and growing list of perpetrators who have committed this terrible infraction.

Which begs the question, just what are the chances that my best mate would choose my photograph from a bunch of available options, for his wedding favours, for the wedding at which I was best man? I reckon eleventy bazillion to one.

Does it make me feel any better? Well it’s flattering he chose my photo but it’s pretty annoying that this company made all the money out of it and I didn’t get a penny.

The swines.

In an unrelated note, here’s a photo of the glass roof at John Cabot’s palace of gin and piss in Bristol (i.e. shopping center). I made this photo with a phone, amazing I know. Phones are dead clever these days.