And I said to him, I say old chap, polygamy is not only illegal but also morally reprehensible! More to the point how on earth does a fellow deal with seven wives, one is surely enough? And why have you got so many cats?

Right so anyway as I mentioned before I’ve just moved house and this very morning I finished laying a new slate floor in our kitchen which has turned out right nice if I do say so myself.

Our boiler broke down less than a week after moving in so I decided on a particularly cold night I’d light a fire in the living room. I broke up some kindling and collected some logs from the log shed and set about making fire, the third manliest thing there is to do after using a chainsaw, or an angle grinder.

I arranged the kindling over some bundled up paper and put a match to it, hey presto, fire! Oh wait, why is all the smoke coming into the room – better check the chimney, oh, what’s this massive bit of foam blocking the chimney?

Cue me stamping all over the fire to put it out before smoking out the entire building. What a plonker.

Quite literally every room in the house needs some work of a lesser or greater amount, so I’ve become DIY man for the next few months. Naturally in light of all this DIY work and money that needs to be spent I went out this weekend and bought new gadgets. Why wouldn’t I?

For anyone that cares this is a Cambridge Audio Topaz amplifier, along with an iPod dock and some Q Acoustics 1020i speakers. I also have a Cambridge Audio Azur DAB tuner and a Technics SL1200 running through a NAD PP2 Phono Preamplifier. Christ that was exciting to write, I need to go for a lie down.

I actually am going to St. Ives later this year as well! Crazy times.

I have no internet at home, and at the moment am in the middle of 75 massive DIY projects, so don’t expect to have any free time at all over the next few weeks. So apologies in advance for the lack of updates!

Anyone want to come and lay the slate floor in my kitchen for me? I can’t be bothered but it needs to be done by Friday morning.

Anyway here are some pictures I took a few weeks ago when I went to Brean Down. What I did was, I went to Brean down, with a camera, and I pointed it at things and took pictures. Crazy times.

Christmas day rolled along and I thought I’d document it using film like some sort of artistic genius – a couple of weeks later I pop to the local film processing place and ask them to develop it. “What type of film is that” asks the man. Um….. “It must be C-41″ says I thinking at the same time “how could I possibly be wrong?”

Wrong I was – the processed film looks like this:

Believe it or not, although it looks blank there is actually something on these negatives. Trouble is you can’t pick it up with a scanner without it looking like a real mess – witness:

These look like something taken in 1820 with the first ever camera – and are rubbish. So now I’m left with 9 more rolls of this stuff and no bleeding idea what to do with it. Suddenly I find myself contemplating buying a home development kit and setting up a dark room…

Anyway, on to the point – I got the photos back this week. First up, this really hurts – partly because I have no memory of the camera coming open at any time, but mainly because I’m now utterly convinced that the photo in the middle would have been the best photo ever taken by anyone ever.

The ones either side don’t look that special, but I’m not letting that deter me from my belief. Moving swiftly on from my apparently never ending ability to make ridiculous mistakes with what is basically a very very simple camera, I did manage to get one or two that I liked. First up, hanging the camera out of the window of the safari truck I just did a hopeful shot to see what would come out.

I think this was taken on the first day, and was our first experience of what a lot of the roads in Kenya are like – red – and horribly uncomfortable. Next up, a random street scene in Kenya – like nothing I’ve ever experienced before or since.

This is a local shop – and is fairly consistent with all the other local shops you see when you aren’t in a city. Finally – out on the safari trail, a couple of shots that I feel OK about sharing:

I simply can’t understand why I didn’t take more pictures with the Holga whilst I was there – I guess I was too busy having a good time to think about it, most unlike me!

Unless you’ve been living on the moon you probably already know this. Apparently it’s hot in this place called hotstralia but that seems quite unlikely because on the BBC it said it was snowing everywhere.

Anyway I made this, just because I can, on my garden wall. I call them John Snow and his family.

The only problem is Wilf the Dog seemed to think a family of cats had come to sit on the wall and not move at all for several hours, so as soon as we opened the back door he went mad and tried to attack them. Silly Wilf.

Finally got my Kenya Holga photos back this week – I’ll share them soon, so DON’T PANIC!

Remember when the met office said we would have a “barbeque summer” in 2009 – and July was the wettest since records began?

Remember when the met office said (as recently as December 20th) that this winter was going to be a mild one?

Yeah. Go met office. Nice to see our tax pounds being spent wisely. Now get this, John Hirst, chief goon at the met office has received performance related bonuses the last two years.

Ooh get me being all political and that. Anyway I wish they’d hurry up and bring on all this global warming we’re supposed to be having, it’s freezing here and my toes hurt.

Merry New Year and all that jazz. x

This is all very boring, so I’ll get on with the reason I’m writing this:

Yes, that’s right, a beer called “Piddle in the Hole”. Seriously. It tasted pretty bleeding good as well! So I drank it. On the topic of beer, I took this in the pub a few weeks back. I like the sentiment, no doubt it’s blasphemous but I’ll just have to try to care about that.

Here’s the surprise though – there are no lemons – I just said that to fool you! HA!

bye for now.

It really is a crazy world we live in.

They are orange inside though – it was a relief when I found that out.

So this morning at home I finally got around to scanning in the pictures I took with my Holga whilst I was on holiday, and when I went to the balloon fiesta as well. This all happened literally months ago, so it’s testament to my awesomess that I’ve only just done anything with them.

What better to do than stick a couple up here so you can see them with your eyes! LooK! Here they are! Yay!

What these seem to show is that in Menorca, the Holga vignettes way more than anywhere else in the world – weird. Also it shows that trying to capture action with a Holga is like trying to watch Susan Boyle singing without wanting to kill yourself – impossible.