Introducing Bruce, and other things

So I realise it’s been nearly a year since I put anything on these pages. There is really only one reason for this, which is that I haven’t been feeling very creative or that I have anything interesting to say. “LOL” I hear you say, because “you never had anything creative or interesting to say before either” and to that I say, words can hurt you know, shame on you.

Despite the fact that you have cruelly tried to crush my spirit, I will nevertheless press on and put things like pictures and words on here again. Where do I start? Well, first I have to mention that I had to give up my lovely office and move all my camera and computer gear into *shudder* the spare room, leaving the office free for something else. This was upsetting, but apparently there was a good reason for this.

Look! A picture! It’s my new “office” which isn’t an office any more.

theoffice

I used to run a multi-monitor set-up but decided to switch to a big shiny 27″ display which is exactly the same screen as an Apple Cinema display but it came from Korea and is called a “Shimian” and was about 1/4 of the price. It’s shiny and nice and you can see it in that there picture up there.

In other news, my son Bruce was born. Probably should have mentioned that first.

bruce

Now Bruce is here and is 12 weeks old, we’re finally settling into enough of a routine that I get some tiny amount of time to do anything except baby related stuff! Naturally in the continuing avoidance of doing painting bedrooms, cleaning, ironing, mowing the lawn or selling my cars, I’m updating my website and of course I’m going to talk about my kid.

Here comes the “Dad” bit. Skip this if (like me before Bruce was born) you couldn’t possibly care any less about baby stuff.

Bruce’s Birth

The phone rings, contractions have started, “it’s fine” thinks I because all the books say you’ll have many hours of contractions getting closer together and more painful and all that time to prepare and get to the hospital and eat and stuff… When they are 4 minutes apart you phone the hospital, and then you go in, and then “things” happen.

20 minutes later I’m home from work and the contractions are 2 minutes apart. THE BOOKS LIED. ALL THE BOOKS LIED. Curse you book liars. So I phone the hospital, who tell us not to bother coming in it’s too soon. We wait a bit and phone again. It’s still too soon they say but I tell them tough, we’re coming in and if they need to send us home so be it.

We arrive, they say they won’t send us home (how generous) and would we like to have a walk around or a cup of tea? Abby insists that they should examine her so they do and the midwife sort of says “oh right” and then it all goes a bit mad with water pools and then like 2 hours later someone hands me a grey, blue and pink bag of noise and says I’m a Dad and I think “um no you must be wrong I still like computer games and sweets I can’t be a Dad there must have been a mistake and besides that I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT I AM DOING.”

One note for any guys out there still reading. If you’re a Dad already you probably know this and if you’re not, I won’t spoil it but I will say… What has been seen cannot be unseen.

End of Bruce’s Birth story

Bruce fucking loves Giraffes. Probably more than he loves me but I suppose Giraffes are pretty cool. Don’t believe me?

Giraffes1

Giraffes2

Giraffe3

Told you he loved Giraffes.

More later my internet chums!