“Everyone needs a holiday”, said Ernest Hemingway, except of course that he didn’t say that because I just made it up.

In an attempt to prove that day tripping our way around the South West of England is actually more expensive than a week in sunnier climes, we spent a few days visiting various attractions within driving distance. In no particular order, Bristol Zoo, Longleat and Wookey Hole all were graced by the soles of our shoes and my incessant camera waving.

Starting with Wookey Hole; I’ve visited “the hole” a couple of times before and thought it a fairly interesting attraction. However each time I go they make the tour more and more cheesy with ludicrous lights in the shape of Witches plastered across every available surface replacing something called “imagination” which was what the tour relied upon when I first went as a scrawny little child.

You can’t see the Witch in this picture as I waited till the tour guide had moved on and propped my camera on a handy rock (there are loads of rocks in the caves, oddly enough) but trust me, she was everywhere.

The Caves at Wookey Hole

Speaking of cheesy, with any requirement for imagination having been replaced by rampant commercialisation, portions of the caves have been set aside as a giant fridge for storing cheddar cheese during the ageing process. This means sections of the caves smell like an arse, so basically we paid money in order to smell arse. Great.

Cheddar Cheese at Wookey Hole

The section of the tour that showed the Wookey Hole paper mill in action was closed for “improvements.” which was nice as they warned us it would be closed when we paid full price for the ticket – oh wait – no they didn’t.

I’m sounding like a miserable sod, because that’s what I am, in actuality we had a lovely day out including a delicious lunch at the Wookey Hole Inn which I’d highly recommend to anyone not least because they have about eight Belgian beers on tap.

One final comment – to the couple who bought an 2 year old child into a dark, wet, smelly cave, then spent the entire time trying to stop her relentlessly screaming in fear, nice one, thanks, I really preferred hearing your child scream instead of the tour guide, really.

Can you tell I don’t have kids yet?

Coming soon, I moan about idiots in cars (Longleat) and animals that do that disturbing repetitive behaviour thing (Bristol Zoo).

Bet you can’t wait!